12 years of not knowing you but remembering you
Last night I thought it’d be a good idea to relax. Instead I found myself, judging my every move. My mind was altered and the words in my head were all I was focused on. I felt embarrassed of my laugh and my reactions, my posture and my skin, even the tone of my voice. I was being a judgmental asshole; to myself! I tried being mindful but it was difficult. Until I got in my car and was alone was I able to relax, but even then in the back of my mind I was playing the scenario of my silence and peeps of giggles and feeling embarrassed. I came to the conclusion, although I’ve been aware, but never saw an issue with it, that my issue with being around people - even without an altered mind - is that Im usually subconsciously judging myself and now I’m bothered. I need to stop, train myself to stop. It’s not about not giving a damn, it’s about just being okay with yourself. I need to be okay with myself. Now the question is how do I become okay with myself?
SKATE BITCHES! SKATE, BITCHES!